Why does this always happen to me?
by MetaLucario
Summary: The dragonborn should be happy. It is her birthday after all, sadly someone had the idea of a party that involved every daedric prince, divine, or dragon to be found. She's not very happy to begin with, but when her best kept secret gets out- all oblivion breaks lose. Not crack, but a very serious story.


A/N: well I was working on a new chapter for creation when I lost my train of thought, and this idea hit me. It's not my usual, although a lot of the usual characters will make an appearance. It's not actually crack, no matter how much it may seem like one. There is a storyline, and decent tangible dialogue through most; blame Sheogorath for the parts that don't… he talks in an odd enough way to make yoda turn green with envy… and yoda is already green so I guess that's a redundant statement. Anywho… enjoy this odd little party, and have a slice of cake while you're at it.

I own oc's and my socks. That is it.

I walked calmly as possible given my current situation. Sanguine was already passed out drunk on the floor, and Sheogorath was earnestly bribing Molag Bal to dip the lord of debauchery's hand in warm water. I slowly backed away from that awkward scene, and headed towards my counter, I needed a mead: assuming Mr. I-passed-out-on-your-floor left me any. Who the bloody damned void decided to invite the daedra to celebrate my birthday anyway? It was a foolish Idea….. wait a minute, why where Sven and Mikael in my house? This day just kept getting _better. That's it I think a couple of blondes are going to have their throats ripped out with an ebony sword._ I grasped Sven's golden locks firmly, and pulled him back so that he was forced to kneel; my sword was at his throat and almost about to end the fear that glistened brightly in his eyes, when I felt a strong arm pull me back. I turned around, to find a face that seemed oddly familiar. Another blonde, but those eyes we're startlingly familiar. What was he doing here? I thought I said I did not want to see any dragons at all today. Then again, he was in mortal form… but, if he was here I was afraid that meant-

"What on nirn is the meaning of this dragonborn, that is not the way to the path of wisdom! Unhand the poor man this instant!" Arngeir had never looked quite so angry before, but if he was angry the man behind him could be easily considered furious. That face was somewhat familiar as well, and for a second I thought him to have been his eldest son. They really do look alike: especially when they're angry. But I matched the same anger right back, because knowing my luck these two weren't the only dragons at my party. I looked him right in the eye, and didn't flinched once during the lecture about how I was supposed to be the hero, blah blah blah. I couldn't care less until the comparison came. I felt Parthurnax flinch behind me at the mention of that name. Even I finally flinched upon hearing it. How was I like him- well never mind that: I can pull up reasons, some bloodcurdling, some more annoying. But, for someone to publicly bring it up? I couldn't tolerate it. I responded the only way I knew how for this situation.

"I don't understand why you're bothering to lecture me. I don't even think of you like a father." Perfect timing, Sithis put his arm on my shoulder as I finished the statement in a voice as cold as the void. If anything were to drive the nail in deeper, I'd be shocked. Looks like Alduin outweighs me on the favorite list now. Even he never said something that cruel to 'dad'. I found the thought oddly amusing, and slid my face forward so that my hair would cover my face as I let the smirk settle. I turned swiftly on my heel and walked away, as Sithis whispered encouragement in my ear. I headed for the back of the room at a swift pace only to face more shock. All I saw was what looked exactly like the person I'd just royally pissed off. Same hair, same eyes. The lining of their chins was slightly different, and of course this one had a crueler stare. But all the same, who's damn idea was it to invite the World-Eater to_ my_ birthday party? I kept walking forward anyway, and surprise, surprise, Miraak was arguing with him heatedly about something. He walked away in a huff and sat in the other corner, shooting glares over occasionally. I slid into the seat he'd been occupying.

"You know there's this wonderful thing called celebrating. You should try it sometime." I tried. I received one of the dirties glares I've ever seen in my life.

"I do not recall ever having a reason to celebrate your birth, dovahkiin." Was the curt reply. He even tried to look down on me. It would have been effective if I wasn't so overly angry myself.

"Try celebrating the fact that he-"I pointed over at Akatosh "- likes you better now. Or maybe the fact that I have decided that there is nothing in this world worth risking my neck over. Or maybe the fact that I'm not feeling any better than you are at the moment!" He stared at me bewildered. That's right, I had thoroughly confused the destroyer of worlds.

"What could you have possibly done that could be so overly horrible, that suddenly I'm back in his good graces? Enlighten me then, mal saviik. Tell me how you managed such a feat." I had never heard such a dry, sarcastic tone as that before. I stared at him pointedly,

"Just go. Please. I'm not feeling to great at the moment." That was an underrated statement. My so-called birthday party turned into a family reunion, which would have been nice if the rest of my family didn't happen to be a bunch of fire-breathing reptiles. Oh, and not to mention that a certain dragon-god of time was probably never going to forgive me. Or that the god of destruction was sitting there, berating me in my own house, which at the moment seemed to be housing all the divines, aerda, and daedra, as well as a few others, like sithis- no. I was absolutely the opposite of fine at the moment.

"I feel no need to get up from where I'm sitting. I do not take orders from anyone, sister." That glare was driving me nuts.

"You might be older, but last I checked it was my birthday. Not yours. So please just let me have the back of my own house to myself, for just a minute." I was rubbing my temples furiously, trying to alleviate my headache. It didn't help in the slightest.

"You are mistaken. We have the same birthday, if you weren't so arrogant as to assume that we didn't without asking, you would have known. And as for this being _your_ house I am certain you will learn soon enough that all things are_ mine_." He had the gall to call _me _arrogant. I swear if he ever had to listen to himself from someone else's point of view…

"Great, another thing in common to add to the list…" I sighed defeatedly as I relaxed into the chair. He looked at me with a questioning stare, to which I replied with a shrug, and a "go ask dad"

"So that's what that was back there? I'd been wondering why he'd taken on a lecture face with you…" He was gaining ground in this conversation. Great, now he had me in an awkward position. I was itching to let it out, and he was listening with an interested look on his smug face. He could really push and pull the truth out of someone when he wanted to. He has such a way with words… what an ironic statement _that_ was.

"Apparently there is no bloodshed allowed at this party, no one gave me the memo. Not my fault someone invited the person I hate the most. I was about to slit his throat, and Parthurnaax got in the way. He pulled me back, so that father could lecture me. He compared me to you about five times, chided me about how I'm supposed to be a hero, and then I turned it back on him. I told him I don't even consider him as my father. So now he's pissed with both of us, and I'm not very happy myself… I feel like an idiot now, for sharing that with you of every being possible." I was ranting by the middle of that monologue, and the gloating look on his face made me hang my head in shame. I'd let him win this one. Not that I stood a chance anyway, he would've extracted the information from me eventually anyway.

"Looks like I'm not the only rule breaker at this party then." He said, "I got a similar lecture earlier, after running into Parthurnaax. I tried to bash his head into the wall." The look on his face said that he wished he'd succeeded. He gave a victorious smirk. "I found one more common ground for you. Now it seems like you're not the little savior I thought you were." His voice was beginning to grate slightly on my nerves. Only slightly. I began to rummage through my bag, knowing he wasn't the real reason that I was so cranky. I hadn't "eaten" in nine days, and the ache in my throat was beginning to worry me. The room began to spin slightly, and there was a black cloud along the edge of my vision. Great, even better, I was about to faint. I realized to late that there weren't any potions in my bag. Suddenly a flash of deep ebony crossed my line of vision, and unnaturally strong arms wrapped around me. The last thing I saw before fainting were his eyes, the deep crimson dulled slightly with worry. Now clearly I was delirious. _Him _worried about_ me? _Not even possible.

I came to in my bed, to find half of tamriel had squeezed into the room. Most of them would be queasy by what they were likely to see. I tried to stand, only to discover that my head was still swimming, and that a very strong hand was pinning me down by the shoulder. I shifted my eyes up to find that the owner of the hand was none other than, guess who, sitting there in all his smug glory. If I didn't know better, I would have thought his brows were creased.

"What happened exactly? That was highly unexpected." Came a voice from across the room, I looked in that direction. It was Azura.

"I've not eaten in a while." I said simply enough. I was not interested in letting them all on to my undead little secret at the moment. But of course, that statement brought more questions.

"Why haven't you been eating?"

"Are you sick or something?"

"I have a special diet, and it's not an easy one." Molag Bal gave me a knowing look, and Alduin clearly noticed something to be amiss, as he looked form Molag, to me, and raised an inquisitive eyebrow.  
"You know something about this, don't you?" He pried. Great. Leave it to him to ruin my life. He gave such a pointed look to the prince of dominion that the daedric prince actually squirmed slightly.

Molag responded by grabbing a helpless guest. He picked well. I wouldn't mind killing this particular nord. He walked forward with Sven, gloating that he could reveal the claim he had on me. All vampires were his children after all… Alduin gave me an odd look, as though he was trying to reassess something he thought he understood. I started to sit up and this time he helped me. I blinked back the dizziness, and slid out of the blanket, my feet hit the floor without a sound. I walked forward, and my vision grew odd. I felt a sharp pain in my middle, and I knew there was no skirting around the truth this time. I held my light blue, clawed hand in front of me, and proceeded to instinctively grab Sven. I pulled his throat up to my fangs without hesitation, my hunger taking away common sense. I sank the sharp canine into his soft flesh, and slowly began to drain his life. I devoured his blood ravenously, and before I knew it I heard a thump as he fell to the floor. I got up slowly, ignoring the shocked and the disappointed faces. Molag was gloating, and Alduin was staring at my wings… right wings. I felt the tight agony as I shrank and shriveled back to normal. He gave me another odd look, like he was uncertain about me. He stared for five,ong, drawn out seconds before the smirk appeared. He started to taunt me in the dovah language. I couldn't understand most of it, but I could catch a few words here and there. And I definitely caught the smugly possessive tone, as well as the angry response from someone behind me. Akatosh shouldered his way out to yell furiously at him in the same language, then proceeded to lecture him angrily, and then give me the disappointed parent speech. I rolled my eyes, walked back to where the first-born was standing. I would take his side just this once, because I was accused as well. I felt his smirk as he leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Hiu lost meyz dii, dovahkiin." His breath tickled my ear in a sinister manner, and I shivered slightly not from fear, but from something deep inside wanting to accept what he had said. I felt myself relaxing slightly, to his further enjoyment. He kept chanting that phrase into my ear tauntingly. The meaning echoed through my mind. _You have become mine…._ I didn't fight like I should have, and oh how badly I regretted that… not. I was beyond caring now. Clearly this wasn't the only time I would side with him. If the other immortals at the party weren't aware that I was choosing to go along with this, they may have begun a war over me. As it was they glared openly, and I simply didn't care.


End file.
